Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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