I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
