Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
