I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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