Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
