i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
