I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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