nut hugger
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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