what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
