But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
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That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
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Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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