I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You made out with two different species that night
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
