An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
