apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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