I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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