I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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