My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
