High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
