I want to make a zoo with you.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
im six kinds of drunk right now
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
