So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
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Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
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legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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