no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
tell your sister to shave her snatch
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
