Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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