nut hugger
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
