I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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