I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
