that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
