Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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