we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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