I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
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Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
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Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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