im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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