I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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