i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
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Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
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You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe