i think i have two assholes
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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