I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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