the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
