I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
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