Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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