I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
