Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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