Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
