Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
