Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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