member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Dick very happy bro
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
