the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
