My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
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