you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
