Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
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it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
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His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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