I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
