I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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