i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
