Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
you had me at cake vodka
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize