I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
