I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
wow bdsm is so cute
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