dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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