So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
