I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
