member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
