u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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