yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
