It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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